Jersey Rant No.1 of..............

I first came into contact with the slim fit jersey back in the early 2000’s (I think) at the Cowra 10’s. The OIC (Officer in Charge) Jersey procurement had sourced a set of (GREEN FOR F**KS SAKE) Mungo jumpers from God knows where, that required a team of three men just to get over my impressive abdominals and left me gasping for breath in a manner I suspect would be not unfamiliar to the heavily corseted women folk of Victorian England. Fortunately I and several others of similar build managed to rapidly attach ourselves to the Cudal Pythons who, while lacking both  the numbers to make up a side and the ability to catch OR pass a football, did have a bag full of extra extra extra…..extra large, cotton jumpers.

So I’ve had some time to think. And I have some theories.

 Unshockingly, several of them revolve around the central idea that this is some kind of organised conspiracy directed first and foremost at the Front Rower. Seriously, hasn’t anyone noticed how fragile they seem to be getting these days. You haven’t got time to turn around and another waif like modern prop’s body has collapsed under weights previously laughed at by MEN whose neck and backs were supported by a physique that while eminently suitable for the packing of scrums and the tossing aside of lesser individuals with the ease of a stiff breeze through dry autumn leaves, just look RIDICULOUS in the modern Rugby ‘Jersey’. 

Today’s style of girly man attire makes it impossible for appropriately proportioned Props to compete in the modern game. It was not fitness or form that killed off Matt Dunning’s international Rugby career. It was in fact an inability to continue bending the laws of space time in order to accommodate his XXXL body into the XXXS Jersey provided to him by those bastards from the ARU.

And where’s the drive to succeed gone these days? The best bit about winning a GF always used to be wearing your jersey to death afterwards. How in God’s name are you supposed to saunter into the local pub or mow the lawn or whatever in your old jersey when you stopped fitting into it five minutes after you ceased training 8 days a week . The only nice thing that can be said about the current trend is that you can mount the damn things in an A4 certificate frame and fit more of them on your wall (that and maybe the ability to wash a whole Clubs worth in one extra large load).

Evil bloody things….

THIS BLOG SPONSORED BY: